...lost and confused...

i shouldn't be awake...i should be sleeping now, dreaming vicodin-fueled dreams and resting up for work tomorrow. instead i'm here, awake, online. with nothing and everything to do. i feel alone, and sad, and unloved. because the rest of the world is asleep...i crave talent, i crave love. i want to love and be loved. i want to be admired for more than random bursts of outrageousness. i want to feel like myself...i want to be memorable, forgotten. i want to know the world outside of my computer screen. i want to be president. i want to be queen. i want to be a ups driver. i want roller skates, bubble gum, and i want to be blonde.

closing her eyes against the world,
*madlane*