...it's the end of an era...

and it's about fuckin' time.

i'm over boy. over, done with, hellafuckin pissed off that i didn't get over him sooner. i cannot believe that i spent that much time thinking, writing, talking about him. that i tied so much of my emotions to his actions and the actions of those around him. all that time wasted. oh well. it was fun while it lasted. i guess.

i won't go into the whole deal right now, but basically a series of events occurred that kind of put me off the whole "boy" (not dudes in general) thing, and then one thing happened that turned my whole perspective around, and made me realize that, holy shit, he doesn't care at all, he doesn't like me in that way, he never will, and me continuosly trying to tell him that i like him or whatever is not going to change anything, and frankly, i don't even like him anymore. so there. i do hope that i'll be able to look at him and appreciate his hotness again, without feeling kind of sick like i do now. because he is rather good looking.

when i look back on the whole boy thing, it seems kind of funny, but sad. i'm a little detatched from the whole thing, like it happened to someone else. i feel sorry for that other me, the one who was too blind to see what was in front of her.

goddamn i want some cigarettes.

plucking leaves from her hair,
*madlane*