...how many times can one heart break...

dammit. things with boy are back to the way they were last week. no, the week before. last week we at least had prom stuff to talk about. now we got nothing. not that i expected us to suddenly have some sort of relationship, i've always loathed the stupid girls who do one thing with a boy and suddenly they are in "true love", but damned if i don't care. i hate myself for caring. you probably thing that i'm an idiot, and maybe i am.

there's a song by the kings of convenience called "i'd rather dance with you"...these are the lyrics:
I'd rather dance with you than talk with you
So why don't we just move into the other room
There's space for us to shake, and hey, I like this tune

Even if I could hear what you said
I doubt my reply would be interesting for you to hear
Because I haven't read a single book all year
And the only film I saw, I didn't like it at all

I'd rather dance, I'd rather dance than talk with you
I'd rather dance, I'd rather dance than talk with you
I'd rather dance, I'd rather dance than talk with you

The music's too loud and the noise from the crowd
Increases the chance of misinterpretation
So let your hips do the talking
I'll make you laugh by acting like the guy who sings
And you'll make me smile by really getting into the swing
Getting into the swing, getting into the swing
Getting into the swing, getting into the swing
Getting into the swing, getting into the swing
Getting into the swing, getting into the swing...

(Getting to the swing...)
I'd rather dance, I'd rather dance than talk with you
I'd rather dance, I'd rather dance than talk with you
I'd rather dance, I'd rather dance than talk with you
I'd rather dance, I'd rather dance than talk with you
I'd rather dance with you
I'd rather dance with you

i think they pretty much describe boy's and my relationship. we're really awkward and bad at talking to each other (at least on my end), but turn out the lights and turn up the music and we can dance. son of a gun can we dance.

i hate this. and yet...and yet...i wouldn't trade it for the world. why is life so goddamn hard?

on a different note, i've decided to change my name to madlane. if you say it, it sounds like "madeline", but different.

cursing her inadequacies,
*madlane*