...amish paradise...

photo class
i'm the type of girl who gets amish bonnets from her friends and wears them with bright red lipstick.
i'm the type of girl who makes friends with dolls and pretends she isn't lonely.
i'm the type of girl who loves you.
—
i always make up stories and write entries in my head, but when i finally get my hands on a keyboard or pen on paper, the words always come out all clumsy and sound awkward. kind of like when i talk.
—la clase de español
boy forgot his present at school. so my friend [the lady who works in the office at school] had to go give it to him, and then my other friend [who bought it with me] made me go outside with her and watch him open it. he kind of laughed and didn't look too wierded out. so maybe he was kind of okay with it, which would be good. either that or he was going to go home and cry. that would be nice. i like to think that i could have that much power over him. that i could make him cry. isn't that sick? but that's not really true. i don't want to cause him tears. i don't want to hurt him. but i do want to make people cry. when i'm all grown up and married to orlando bloom, i'm going to make movies that make people cry. i'm in film school and no one knows my name but there isn't a dry eye in the house. five million crumpled tissues and mascara trails later and i'm famous and they love me. i just wanna be loved. will you love me?
—
i think i was born to be amish. i want to go amish when i'm older. maybe for only six months or something, i don't think i could stand it for longer than that. can you do that? i hope so.

tugging at her life vest,
.anouk.