...ugh...

i'm really depressed/pissed off right now. i've been planning/hoping/dreaming about going to italy next school year for more than a year. and guess who just decided to rain on my fucking parade and tell me i won't be going until at least junior year? that's right, my beloved madre. argh. one of her goddamn excuses is "you haven't been getting all your work done blah blah blah". doesn't she realize that the only thing that has been keeping me from totally flunking freshman year is the knowledge that i'd be far, far away from here next year? i guess not. fuck it. of course, i just had to tell everyone in the whole fucking world about going. not bragging, just excited. so what do i do when i fucking show up at normal shit school? this fucking sucks.