...orthodontics, schmorthodontics...

as you [probably] know, i was a brace face. i had braces for about 5 years, total [that's split between two rounds]. i loved it. braces are my friend. but they're off now, and i have a removable, conventional retainer [ricki] up top, and a four-tooth wire glued to the back of my bottom front teeth. well. had. that bottom wire randomly popped out in december. so i saved it, lost it, got a new one, and was told that they'd do that one for free, but if i lost it again it would cost $210. for an inch long wire. wtf? oh well, i didn't plan on it falling out again. but, in true "let's fuck up bee's life!" style, it did. on saturday, one end came up, but not the other. this evening, though, i was tired of the damn thing flapping around in my mouth so i pulled it out. now i have a gnarly chuck of cement stuck to my tooth. ah, c'est la vie. i guess i'll call the ortho and ask them what to do, but, jesus, i can't drive down there [2 hour each way] every week and a half [yep, that's how long the second one lasted] to have them glue it back in.

p.s. in case you were wondering, the wire is in a plastic baggy on my bulletin board. safe and sound.

watch this space for: "-sexual?" a hard hitting documentary about sex and the underground toothpaste culture.